The kid in me

At times such as these when I feel scared and vulnerable I realise I never matured and I am as much a kid as I was perhaps one or two decades back. Thinking about all the change in me and things around me that effect me, I begin to wonder if I ever wanted all this.

I think of times when there were lot of people (most of all, my father and my mother) to protect me, people I could run to, people who understood me, people who loved me for all my faults.

The thought that hurts me the most is me being all alone at a time when I need all the support. People who could have filled the void misunderstood me, like always. The thought that scares me is that of entering the bad world outside and not having anyone to fall back on without embarrassing myself. The thought that worries me is that nothing will be the same in another six odd months for the person whom I expected would understand me at all times has refused yet again, to believe me.

Decay

My counterpart speaks of a decay in the system. It was indeed heartening to know that such topics still hold potential to attract people's thoughts. Even as I was reading those profound words certain thoughts began surfacing in my mind. I am told bribes were paid in relation to the NYP, 2009 (after all it was a question of preserving Law School culture) in order to please cops into refraining from enforcing certain rules. People who contributed to the party corpus were aware of this head of expenditure. On account of this, I feel kind of compelled to ask- isn't such behaviour equally if not more responsible for the so called decay in the system?

Although the argument turns on the definition of this cliched (in this post) phrase, assuming it were to receive some colour from the word democracy (mentioned in the mail) and the apparent tenor of the mail; I believe it doesn't require much thought to infer that the manner in which such bribes were paid to cops (and I assume it has become an accepted practice) the decay in the system can be attributed (to a much greater extent) to chain of events surrounding occasions such as the NYP, 2009.

I think, of greater significance is the tendency of people to quickly fall back on arguments such as decay in the system when something hurts them or bothers them - forgetting how they might have contributed to the decay. But then, as long as one gets to consume booze, dance, party and enjoy oneself in the process who really cares about whether our system is in a state of decay.